I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Are my feet made of real feet?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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