I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
