Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
