guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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