Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
