He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have feelings that need drinking.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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