he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
