You're my little dorito
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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