so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
