all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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