He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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