Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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