fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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