My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize