All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
