Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
