in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
