theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
