my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
