1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
