Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
