honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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