i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
