I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize