i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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