we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize