i wish starbucks made bloody marys
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
