TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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