I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We are all done wearing pants today
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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