He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize