walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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