making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
