I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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