so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
