There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I love you. Go after that dick
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
