Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
