This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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