how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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