i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
