yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
