Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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