So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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