But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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