i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
