What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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