tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
