hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
