Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
