Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
