Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
