i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
