You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
