wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
