even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
