and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
