all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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