Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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