I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So vagazzling was a success
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
